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A low libido program to understand how your desire works

Portrait of Murat Yön Developed by Murat Yön, clinical psychologist and sex therapist

Low sexual desire is a lasting drop in interest in sex, or interest that never arrives. This program explores how desire works, step by step and without blame.

First a free 3–4 minute assessment, then a plan ordered for you.

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If one of these sentences is yours

  • "I love my partner but the desire is gone; I'm afraid something has broken."
  • "I never want it out of the blue; once we start it's good, but I don't want to start."
  • "It has become the only topic between us: one wants, one doesn't."

Sentences we hear often; not user reviews.

What is inside

Low desire has its own 6-session section; the 10-session desire and attraction section completes it. The assessment orders these two, and the rest of the 23-module program, for you.

Topics covered in this section

  • Low desire, or desire waiting for a response?

    The difference between spontaneous and responsive desire; re-reading the sentence "I have no desire".

  • Your accelerator-brake map

    Writing down, one by one, what opens your desire and what closes it; everyone's map is different.

  • Activating responsive desire

    Building context instead of waiting: conditions, time, body.

  • Mindfulness-based practice

    Bringing the mind from the to-do list back to the body; short daily practices.

  • Two different speeds

    Handling desire discrepancy in a relationship by talking; without blaming anyone.

  • Why does desire fade?

    Stress, sleep, hormones, medication side effects and the climate of the relationship — which of these plays a part for you.

An example exercise from the program: your desire accelerator and brake map

Thinking of desire as a balance between "accelerators" that feed it and "brakes" that hold it back turns "I have no desire" into a concrete question: what switches mine on, and what switches it off? You draw this map alone, on paper.

  1. Divide a page into two columns: "accelerator" and "brake".
  2. List your accelerators from the past month: settings, times of day, kinds of touch, sounds, scents, and feelings such as being safe, seen or rested.
  3. List your brakes honestly: tiredness, time pressure, an unspoken hurt, thoughts about your body, old messages, and the expectation "I won't feel anything anyway".
  4. Look at the map and ask: is there a brake that could be lifted? For example, could a resentment in the relationship be talked about, or your sleep routine improved?
  5. Is there an accelerator you could add? This week, deliberately create one accelerator condition. Sharing any part of the map with your partner is entirely optional.

Pain, a new medication, hormonal changes, low mood that does not lift or poor sleep are not brakes to beat with willpower; see a doctor about them. Fear, pressure or violence in a relationship is a safety issue that comes first, not a brake to remove. The exercise is never a way to push anyone into sex.

Abridged from the “My Gas-Brake Map: Deep Dive” session in the app (Coping with Low Sexual Desire module).

How it works

  1. Assessment (3–4 minutes, free)

    If desire is what brings you here, the questions ask how your desire has changed, whether it wakes up once closeness has begun, whether anything has changed in your health or medication, and how your mood has been over the past few weeks. No sign-up is needed; you create an account only if you want to keep the result.

  2. A plan ordered for you

    The plan always opens with foundation sessions: as in the example above, safe communication and then desire and attraction may come first. If low desire is in front for you, its own module sits within the first three steps. If one of your answers points to something worth raising with a doctor as well, the plan stays open with a note that says so.

  3. First session: desire, or a response?

    The low desire module opens with the session that tells desire arriving on its own apart from desire that wakes up through touch; the mapping exercise follows it. The same account works on your phone and in the browser, you continue where you left off, and progress stays with you only.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it free?

The assessment and the plan you see at the end of it are free, with no sign-up. The sessions in the low desire module, including the mapping exercise, and the rest of the program open with a Sexual Wellness subscription. Current options are on the pricing page; the subscription covers the Sexual Wellness app only.

My partner doesn't want it, I do — is this for me or for them?

For both. The "Desire Discrepancy: Two Different Rhythms in a Relationship" session is about talking through two different levels of desire without blame: each of you answers a few questions separately, then together you build a menu of closeness you both genuinely say yes to. The other sessions in the module help the partner with lower desire understand their own.

How long are the sessions?

Each of the six sessions in the low desire module takes between 10 and 15 minutes. Some sessions end with a practice for the week; after the mapping session, for example, you are asked to set aside around half an hour once, on your own, to draw your map.

Can anyone see it?

No. Your assessment answers and your progress are kept in your account only and are never shared. The mapping exercise is done on paper, so you decide what to show your partner, and whether to show anything at all. You can delete your account completely at any time.

Phone or computer?

Both. You sign in with your Sexual Wellness account in the web app and in the Sexual Wellness app downloaded from the App Store or Google Play, and the session you reached in the low desire module is the same in both places. This account is separate from your Apple or Google store account.

Guide on this topic: When to See a Doctor About Sexual Problems

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